Arschbrand

Gute Idee! Hi Jack, It is good to read that we sorted that out. 60/40 is agreed. Don´t you think that it would be a good idea to donate 10% of the total amount to the United States Navy Veterans Association and share then to 60/40? We have both a distressed past in the army. I would have a guilty conscience about helping you out and forgetting about our comrades. How shall we now proceed? I remember that you require a copy of my passport. This afternoon desaster struck when my secretary Mrs. Paxi Undfixi was lolling on my desk in the office. After we finished she was plucking her bra back in position as she accendently hit the keyboard of my computer and deleted some of my mails. Sometimes she´s a stupid bitch but she knows deaf-and-dumb language which is so important to me because of my hearing impairment and she knows how to tease me... :) Awaiting to hear urgently from you in this respect for us to proceed accordingly with concluding this transaction swiftly. Finger in Po, Sackgesicht Dr. Arsch Brand

Mein Freund Captain Jack hat mir geschrieben. Hello Dr Arsch, This is a very hard decision for me. I am now letting my 10% go because of your friend, I do not want to place a command on you that it must be 65/35. This is business and i respect business idea. I will collect 60% and you take 30% and give your friend 10%. This will be good and i hope you will respect it. Lets go..... Best Regards Capt Jackson Hensel Ich arbeite gerade an einer Antwort. Natürlich wurde seine Mail, in der er nach Pass, Führerschein etc. fragte versehentlich gelöscht. Es passierte, als meine reizende Sekretärin Frl. Paxi Undfixi sich auf meinem Schreibtisch räkelte. Irgendwie hat sie meinen Mailaccount dabei gewaltig durcheinander gebracht, das Luder. :-D

Wenn er drauf eingeht, werde ich ihm erst Mal eine blumige Bestätigungsmail schicken in der ich dann aus 40/60 - 60/40 mache...

Wenn es auch nur im Ansatz so läuft, wie ich mir das vorstelle, ist es noch lange nicht vorbei. Dear Jack, You are right I want to give my friend a share for his instrumentality. This is the least I have to do for him. I requested 45%, you are offering now 35%. I suggest that we agree 40/60. Let me know your thoughts. Leck mich Dr. Arsch Brand

Habe ich es nicht gesagt? Er hat´s gefressen. Hello Dr. Arsch, I am a Jewish American by origin and there are some few German Jewish. Apart form that i do not have any German background. Good to hear that you once served in German ISAF force. We suffered a lot but is the price we pay to serve our country and i proud to be am American marine, any time and day even when resigned. Now about the business I say NO to your suggestion. I how to think so fast to know that your friend may need some percentage of your 30% and for that reason i will give out more 5% of my share to you. Now i have 65% while you have 35% and i hope i can trust you with the sharing once the money get to you hand. Now there is a Red Cross jet flying to Europe by tomorrow and if you will be fast to send your information today, i will try my best to register it in your name with the data you will give me. I hope to here from you soon. Best Regards Capt Jackson Hensel Ich denke so einfach sollte ich nicht beigeben. 40% muss ich schon haben oder?

Stimmt 10 Jahre mehr passen auch besser zur Legende.

Tausch mal Vor- und Nachnamen aus. Der Rest ist geil.

Der Typ hat auch An Al Penetr. Systems gefressen, der stolpert auch nicht über die Gang Bang Response Unit.

Gegenschlag: Dear Jack, First of all I would like to point out how happy I am to receive a reply from you. Your family name sounds sort of German to me. Do you have a German background? So you are a member of the armed forces in Iraq. I assume that you had a tough time during your combat missions. I was in the army as well and served my duty as a Gummi Ente commanding a small gang bang response unit for the German ISAF forces in Afghanistan. On one mission my unit was ambushed by an IED (improvised explosive device) and I suffered severe injuries and a loss of 95% of my hearing powers. After I recovered I resigned my duty and started my carrier at An Al Penetr. Systems. It is good to know that you are in the armed forces and seem to be a honest man. This is what makes us soldiers survive in this cruel world outside. To me it was an honour serving for my countries interests. But let´s talk about business now. You offered me a share of 30% for my help. I would suggest that my share is 45%. What do you think about that? I am looking forward to your reply Have a nice weekend or as we say in German: Finger in Po, Schwuchtel. Yours sincerely Dr. Arsch Brand Die Geschichte mit der Taubheit soll später erklären, dass ich keine Telefonnummer habe. Jetzt muss ich mir erst mal einen kostenlosen E-Fax Dienst suchen. Meine zweite Persönlichkeut freut sich endlich etwas ausgelastet zu sein.

Ja, mach Dich mal ran an den Pass, ein Foto suche ich raus. Der Pass muss auf Dr. Arsch Brand ausgestellt sein. Den Geburtsort kannst Du Dir aussuchen, der Wohnort ist Figgen. Die Adresse ist ja erst Mal egal, die steht ja im Pass nicht drin und unser Freund Capt. Jack soll ja schon ein wenig länger an der Leine zappeln. Wollen wir nicht Honnis Bild aus dem Ausweis nehmen?

Da muss ich ihn doch gleich fragen, ob er deutsche Verwandte hat.

Ich werde ihn erst Mal in ein paar militärische Gespräche verwicklen. So in der Richtung, dass ich ein deutscher ISAF Afghanistan Veteran bin und die Gangbang Response Forces geleitet habe. Das Topic hat Potential.

Angebissen : Hello Dr Arsch , I hope you are a nice man i can trust and work with and you will keep this deal as a top secret . What happen to your friend, sure you will have to give him some money after the deal. See the details of the deal as fellows First,let me make you understand my power in affecting the transfer of this funds.As i have already informed you on how this money is been brought,and i know i have equally informed you on where the money was deposited.I am in command of my unit ,i give orders,and i am a marine and you know the respect and honor we control.I do not need to give you any further info.i believe you have the mind to understand even when giving a clue.I will prepare all the necessary documents for approval that the money is yours with a diplomat who is a friend but will not know that you are not the actual owner of the said funds because he is a man of decent mind.He will have my approval before he comes for the clearance of the money. I will be doing myself a great favor to explain in simple terms how this deal is going to be so that if you will not be able to do it,you can forget about it now please.This deal is for real it is no joke and i want you too see for yourself.I do not know you neither do you know me so we cannot possibly talk of trust in this issue now rather, i have arranged everything in a way that you will have your own share of the funds and you will deposit my share for me in a Swiss account which i will give to you.The only role i need from you is for me to arrange the consignment in your name so that you will clear the consignment as your own but will then take 30% of the funds to yourself and transfer it to wherever you want and the balance of 70% will be paid to a Swiss account which i will give to you.This will be done with the help of the diplomat in Europe. Now i want you to know that,Every week a red cross relief jet flies to Europe from Baghdad to go collect reliefs from donors in Europe.I have two of my men as security to the airplane.If we come to a concrete agreement,i will contact a diplomat here in Iraq whom i have some of my men on guard in his premises to come seal up a consignment which is with the red cross to the beneficiary in Europe.Then i must have prepared every document making you the true beneficiary of the funds. I want you to know that diplomats run a Currier service which is called DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICE,this service is meant for transferring hard documents,huge funds and precious stones.they call it consignment.This consignment will be registered under their service and will be carried with their diplomatic immunity to any country where they have diplomatic grounds and then deliver it to the beneficiary of the consignment on the grounds where they maintain diplomatic immunity. In this case,the deal will go like this,Once i register the consignment in your name,The diplomat will seal it and then will send it to Europe after registering it as a diplomatic consignment in a diplomatic box and then transfer it to another diplomat in Europe who will pick up the consignment from the airplane and then deliver it to you.The airplane that will be used in this deal is the red cross jet which equally has its own immunity because of the nature of its work.Wherever it lands in Europe the diplomat in Europe will now go and claim the consignment and then have an appointment when you will come claim your consignment. As soon as i am through with the diplomat's arrangement here i will get from him the contact of the diplomat that will deliver the consignment to you in Europe and forward his contact and phone number to you so you can have an appointment with him to know when you can come claim the consignment. I want you to know that,there is what is called a diplomatic transfer account.You will inform the diplomat to help you transfer 70% of the funds to a swiss account that i will give to you and you can have your own,if you equally need his help to help you deposit your own share without any problem he will do it,though this will take a lot of charges from the consignment but whatever it is please pay him once you have the consignment and then send my own share to the account i will give to you.Every charges will come from my 70%,i am a man of honor,you can have your 30% for your help and motor home,i know that is been very fair,let all charges be from my share. I do not know you and i do not think we equally need to know each other for now,we can only speak of trust and friendship once i discover that my own share is on my swiss account.Then we can really then become very good friends.I know this might come to you as a surprise but i must tell you that with my experience in international politics,i must inform you that 70% of the richest people on earth made their money from such deals and that is why everybody cannot run accounts with so much money in it and not everyone that can own a rich swiss account.Those accounts are made for such deals where nobody will ask you how you made the money,rather they are interested in making it safe for you.That is their banking policy. I want you to know that i want to deal with someone i do not know because the deal will have no trace.I am a marine so i have to be careful,this is a wicked world,it is possible that you might be a bad person that may want to put me in trouble so i can deny i do not know you,so it is safe not to know you,but if you are good and can have this deal with me and keep it very secret between the both of us,then in one week we are rich. If you are ready for this deal,you are required by this letter to furnish me with the information below, as I did told the Red Cross officer that we shall be intimating him with the information of the rightful owner of the boxes. 1. Your Full name 2. Your country of origin and Contact address in your country 3. Your state of residence and origin in your country 4. A copy of your international passport /driver's license/ID. 5. Your direct telephone number 6.Your occupation. 7 Fully information. Once i receive this i will prepare every document making you the rightful owner of the consignment immediately and will contact you as soon as i conclude arrangement with the diplomat here.I await your immediate reply to this mail Thanks, Capt Jackson Hensel Ich gehe jetzt erst Mal in die Falle und werde meine 2 1/2 Lall ausschlafen, weil ich mit einem belgischem Kollegen einige der lokalen Starkbiere verhaftet habe, und bereite morgen den Gegenschlag vor. Ich habe das Gefühl, dies könnte der Anfang einer langen Brieffreundschaft werden. Ich glaube ich werde mich erst einmal darauf hinaus reden das ich als Kind eine schreckliche Krankheit hatte, die mich meines Hörvermögens beraubte. Das löst schon Mal das Problem mit der Telefonnummer. Für weiter Vorschläge bin ich offen. Macht mit!!!

Mögen die Spiele beginnen: Dear Jack Let me introduce myself to you. My name is Dr. Arsch Brand, I am the CEO of a well developing company in Germany called An Al Penetr. Systems. We are developing tools and consumables for the airline industry. A friend of mine received an email from you in which you requested help in a financial issue. Unfortunately my friend is not in the position to perform any financial transactions at the moment. For this reason he offered me your contact details. I am very interested in doing some buisiness with you. I am awaiting your answer soon Kind regards Dr. Arsch Brand An Al Penetr. Systems Fister Allee 3 69691 Figgen Ich bin gespannt, ob sie den Köder fressen...

So, ich nehme mich der Sache Mal an. @Rally200Nbg: Leite mir mal die Mail an folgende Emailadresse weiter asch.brand-an.al.penetr-sysättgmx.de Ich habe da ein paar Ideen...

In mir keimt gerade eine teuflische Idee: Ich bekomme gerade echte Lust denen die Zeit zu stehlen. Wie wäre es wenn wir als GSF Projekt die Email in bester Scambaiter Manier beantworten. Ich bitte schon Mal um Vorschläge für einen Namen. Hier ist mal ein pdf von der Seite von einem aus D der es echt bunt getrieben hat. LINK

Hammer! :-D

Das ist es! Danke für den Link, da sind in der Zwischenzeit schon wieder so geile Geschichten dazugekommen.

Irgendwo im Netz gibt´s eine Geschichte von einem der die Nigerianer sehr geschickt verarscht hat. Hat sich als William Suckall ausgegeben oder so ähnlich und den Spieß umgedreht. Auf jeden Fall hat er dann Bilder von den Nigerianern gepostet, wie sie am Flughafen, in der Abholerzone stehen und ein Schild hoch halten auf dem dem steht Will. Suckall.

Ja, der Kleine ist ein echter Kamikaze, kriegt auf die Fresse, heult kurz, wischt sich die Tränen trotzig weg und versucht es gleich noch Mal. Der Große wird im Mai 11, ist aber anders drauf. Ihm hätte ich gern ein Board angedreht, aber der hat zuviel Schiss. Der ist eben wie sein Vater und braucht noch ein paar Jahre...

Warum geht Titus nicht? Style? Hallo, das Board ist für einen 8 jährigen, ein echter Racker und keine gebastelte Style Schwuchtel, wie die Ochsenknecht-Jungs.

Mit Deinem NOS Plastikabfall lässt ja auch ordentlich Zaster machen.

Das ist ja nicht zu ertragen!

Ich fand es auch mal wieder nett und stelle fest, dass ich viel zu früh und viel zu nüchtern abhauen musste.

War ein netter Abend, gute Nacht. Liebe Grüße an die Kollegin