Ich kanns einfach nicht glauben!

[gertax]

*Gänsehaut* :plemplem:

[HerrDerKolbenringe]

gayheart wird wuschig?

[ExtremCruiser]

Was für ein wasserlauf ist das net ne mauer??

[nop]

Was für ein wasserlauf ist das net ne mauer??

aldäääär - wie habt'n ihr alle euren schein bestanden???????

[Smallframeschüttelhippe]

Warscheinlich mitm Fake-Sehtest !

Leude,das is ne ZAUNLADDE !!!

Is doch gar nich soooo schwer zu sehn.

Griez !

Tom :plemplem:

[Dokma]

Was für ein wasserlauf ist das net ne mauer??

Erstellt am 2. Dec. 2002, 18:53

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

QUOTE (Timas @ 2. Dec. 2002, 18:09)

QUOTE (Messerschmitt 150 T3 @ 2. Dec. 2002, 16:59)

optische täuschung... oder wo ist der see ???  ist doch das holz des zaunes  - und kein see!!!

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .... das ist ein Slot, ein Wasserlauf, ein künstlicher Bach ......

Na klar der erste Slot der, damit er nicht weglaufen kann, an einen hölzernen Weidezaunpfahl festgenagelt wurde...

Ah jetzt ja! Mein Fehler: Die Mauer wurde selbstverständlich am hölzernen Weidezaunpfahl festgeklebt...

[Olli ETS]

Ich brech ab...

Wollte es ja nicht glauben und hab mal ein bißchen gegoogled...

Sex Anleitung:

Dekhyr Dragon's Guide to Sex with Cars (for males)

--------------------------------------------------

Howdy. Read this entire document before trying any of the steps.

'Having sex with a car'. The phrase is sometimes misunderstood to

mean sex in a car, and sometimes is greeted with skepticism. How can you

have sex with a car? The short answer is, up the tailpipe.

The long answer is much more involved, including techniques,

precautions and cautions all designed to get you maximum satisfaction from

screwing a car. Our first subject will be the tailpipe.

The tailpipe of the car is, of course, where the exhaust comes out.

So in this sense, the tailpipe is an anus.

First we will deal with some cautions you should know about.

In most cars, the edge of the tailpipe is sharp. You should

therefore exercise caution when doing anything with the tailpipe.

If the engine has been on for a long (or even a relatively short)

period of time, the tailpipe will be hot. Do not do anything with the

tailpipe hot. Wait until the tailpipe has cooled off. The tailpipe will

cool off faster than the engine, so you don't have long to wait. I call

screwing the car while the tailpipe is hot, "fucking the car hot". Never fuck a car hot. I did, once. Once.

The exhaust from a car contains poisonous gases. One of these,

carbon monoxide, is a slow killer. Carbon monoxide takes a long time to

be flushed out of the body, so it can build up to toxic levels without

your knowing it.

Never do anything with the tailpipe while the engine is on!

Now, the first thing you should note is that the inside of the

tailpipe is usually coated with soot. This is the usual particulate debris

of combustion. Before having sex with the car, clean the inside of the

tailpipe with soap and warm water, as far as you can go. Keep in mind

the possibly sharp edge of the tailpipe.

Now that the tailpipe is clean, you are ready to pleasure and be

pleasured by the car.

You can do this two ways. One way doesn't require any equipment.

The other way (which is much more rewarding) does.

The first way is to fuck the car 'raw'. This does NOT mean stuffing

your cock into the tailpipe and thrusting. This would hurt (remember the

sharp edges?) and be no fun anyway, since the tailpipe doesn't flex.

What you should do is get behind the car and start jerking off.

When you are about to come, carefully put your cock into the tailpipe of

the car, and then come. But, in the heat of passion, you must still

remember the sharp edge. Even putting just the head into the tailpipe is

good enough. Just make VERY sure that you don't hurt yourself.

Now, this assumes that you can get your cock into the tailpipe

in the first place. Some tailpipes are too small, and then, well, you're

out of luck. Find someone who has a car with a bigger tailpipe.

The best way to have sex with a car, however, is not raw. You

need the following equipment:

1 Dekhyr Dragon Industries (Teledildonics Division) Sexual Interface Unit.

If you don't have one, you can get one through me (Dekhyr,

[email protected]) or you can attempt to build one yourself. The SIU is

essentially a tube made of foam rubber, rolled such that the inner diameter

is slightly smaller than the diameter of your erect penis. When lubricated,

it acts as a sexual interface to whatever you attach it to. In this case,

it is inserted into the tailpipe of the car you want to have sex with.

To build one, you will need black electrical tape, a 'Koozie',

a can of soda, and a hefty pair of scissors. A 'Koozie' is a foam rubber

dingumbob in which you put a soda. It keeps the soda cold and your hand

warm. Being a 'give-away' item, you usually can't find it anywhere. I've

had reports of finding them in liquor stores. I've actually found a good

deal of them at a local discount-type store.

There are two kinds, thick walled and thin walled. I've only been

able to find the thick kind; the thin kind I've only been able to get

through an advertising company. The thin kind is particularly good with

tailpipes not much bigger than your cock.

Here is what you need to do:

1. Measure the circumference of your erect penis. This is most easily done

by wrapping a string around your cock (around the shaft, not the head).

2. Take the bottom of the Koozie out. You should be left with a tube.

3. Cut the wall of the tube from top to bottom so that you are left with

a slab of foam rubber which refuses to stay straight.

/------------\

\------------/

| | |

| | |

| | |

| cut^ |

| | |

| | |

\------------/

4. Now, carefully cut away material parallel to the first cut until you

can put the ends together making a smaller tube, and such that the inner

circumference of the tube is slightly smaller (say, by 1/2" or so) than

the circumference of your shaft.

5. Take a piece of electrical tape. Hold the ends of the tube flush.

Place the tape on the cut on the outside to secure the tube in the

middle. Now repeat with more tape until the cut is secure. Wrap tape

around the whole thing.

6. Drink the soda. With the scissors, CAREFULLY cut off the top and bottom

of the aluminum can. CAREFULLY cut a strip of aluminum lengthwise from

the can, about 3/4" to 1" wide.

7. Coat the strip with electrical tape. This is to prevent the edges from

cutting.

8. Attach the strip to the tube at one end:

attach here only

|

V ============ <- strip (curled upward a bit)

======

----------------------------

^ \

/ \ |

| | |

| | |

| | |

\ / |

V /

----------------------------

9. 'Test drive' it! Lube it up with KY (try not to use oil-based

lubricant; you may want to use it with more than one person, and then

you'll be using a condom).

Now, stuff the SIU up the tailpipe and lube well.

You now have several options for fucking your car. One major one

is from behind. If the car is automatic shift, then put the car in Park

and remove the emergency brake. This will enable the car to rock back and

forth to your thrusts. If the car is manual transmission, chock the wheels

well, remove the emergency brake, and put the car into gear -- the higher

the gear, the more play the car has. This will also enable the car to

rock. Kneel behind the car. Now thrust in.

You may not have any trouble with heavier manual transaxled cars,

since you may not have to chock the wheels -- the weight of the car will

prevent the engine from 'topping out' and moving the car away. Lighter

manual transaxled cars are more likely to be topped out by your thrusts,

so chocking is necessary. In general, the lower the gear, the less

play, but the more difficult it is to top the engine out.

Another major method is to lie down under the car, your upper body

under the car, and thrust into the car. It is difficult, though, to make

the car rock unless you push on the closest rear tire.

I've also had some success leaning on my side and fucking the car

sideways.

More than one person can fuck a car if it has more than one

tailpipe on opposite sides of the car. This will also make the car rock

faster and harder since the energy of two people will add.

NEVER fuck a car with the engine on. Firstly, you will be breathing

hard, and that means you can poison yourself faster. Secondly, the car

will either stall (because there's something blocking the tailpipe, heh)

-- causing damage to the engine -- or will force the exhaust out. And

you have an idea where the exhaust will go, I trust. Ouch! Fatality City!

If you do not use a condom and you come inside the car, ten or

fifteen minutes of driving will kill off anything inside. So you do not

have to worry about STDs from that. What you will have to worry about,

though, is the SIU itself. It is not being sterilized. Therefore, if you

use an SIU you think is going to be used by someone else, use a condom,

and use KY jelly or some other water-based lubricant. Remember -- oil

rots condoms, and so will an oil-based lubricant.

Enjoy your cars!

--Dekhyr Dragon

([email protected])

[Claudio]

Mach mal Motor an

[Andre]

Mir ist da gerade noch ein winziges, extrem leicht zu übersehendes Detail aufgefallen!

Wenn ihr ganz genau hinschaut, seht ihr auf dem wunderschönen Landschaftsbild mit den ganzen Zäunen, Mauern und Flüssen einen mit Frauenunterwäsche bekleideten Mann im Hintergrund, der seinen Pillermann in den Auspuff seines Jeeps steckt. Ich weiss, es ist ganz klein und undeutlich....und man kann es aufgrund der extrem interessanten Zäune, Mauern und Flüsse auch leicht übersehen!

EDIT:

Ach du scheisse....Olli...wo findet man sowas? :plemplem: :plemplem:

Ich glaub es nicht...was da so in manchen Garagen vorgehen muss!

Stellt euch vor...man kauft sich einen vergewaltigten Twingo!

[gertax]

mal was Anderes: André, wie hast du das Bild eigentlich gefunden, dass du nach Landschaftsbildern gesucht hast nehmen wir dir nicht ab!

[Pfeife]

Also Andre..

ich bin schockiert! Pfui!

..und mich dann auch noch darauf aufmerksam machen....tststs. :plemplem:

Ach egal. Leute ich muß los, ab in die Garage, hab' da noch was zu erledigen.

VESPATEILE SUCHEN, NICHT DAS WAS IHR DENKT, IHR FERKEL

[Andre]

@gerhard

hab ich doch am Anfang geschrieben...

im Teutonics-Guestbook hat das einer gepostet...woher er das hat weiss ich (leider) nicht...

[HerrDerKolbenringe]

scheisse ... ich hab aus dem momentanen anlass grad mal wieder meine bookmark wieder ausgekramt zum "1. Melonenfick" ... hatte ich schonmal hier gepostet ... und bis vor kurzem ging der link auch noch, da hab ich das meiner freundin gezeigt ... google spuckt nur scheisse zum melonenfick aus! weiss einer wo die seite hin umgezogen ist?!?!

der alte link war http://web.sport-idler.de/users/d21139_5/melone03.htm

[Olli ETS]

Ach du scheisse....Olli...wo findet man sowas?  :plemplem:  :plemplem:

Ich glaub es nicht...was da so in manchen Garagen vorgehen muss!

Bin nur Deiner Suchanleitung gefolgt!

Stellt euch vor...man kauft sich einen vergewaltigten Twingo!

Oder eine Fiat Punto HGT.....

*gggg* :grins:

[gertax]

@gerhard

hab ich doch am Anfang geschrieben...

im Teutonics-Guestbook hat das einer gepostet...woher er das hat weiss ich (leider) nicht...

ok, dann bist natürlich fein raus....

...leider

jaja

[nop]

sacht mal, jungs... war hier im gsf nich auch einer der so waaaahnsínnig viiiele rap's gesammelt hat?

[Pfeife]

Da fällt mir gerade was ein!

Andre! Laß meine Dicke in Ruhe! Oder besser....ich bin gleich da und hol' sie ab! :veryangry: